Chronic illness/healing project
“This representation holds the essence of Kayleigh’s life. The trauma and the strength to rise up again, the sorrow and the desire for rebirth, the courage to face her own condition and to transform limits into opportunities”
- Art curator Erika Gravante
My 10 year journey with chronic illnesses and 3 year (and counting) healing journey has lead me to create this large art collection based on the struggles of illness, the transformation of my mind and my healing journey.

Project officially started - October 2019
‘CHRONIC ILLNESS MASK (oct’19)
This surreal painting symbolises the loss of ones personality due to chronic illness. You may or may not know that the purple butterfly is a symbol for Fibromyalgia- which seems ironic when the illness itself is a living nightmare- yet the symbol is incredibly beautiful. Apparently this symbol came about because even the lightest most gentle touch to the skin of someone with fibromyalgia can be incredibly painful. For example, even a weightless, harmless creature such as a butterfly landing on a person with fibromyalgia could cause intense pain.
Even though fibromyalgia is only one of my conditions, I felt the butterfly was the perfect symbol to use. It creates a fascinating image, a butterfly taking over, masking someone’s face. The Portrait has a shaved head with a number tattooed on her skin; these show the lack of personality, just a number rather than a person.
Chronic illness has the power to mask personality. For the first couple years of my illness, I truly felt stripped of mine. Not only unable to take part in my sport and hobbies, but also unable to be the bubbly, silly, happy person I was before. Secluded from my friends, unable to put effort into the clothes I wore or the way I looked. I felt so far from myself in every single way.
The reason I show and refer to personality as being masked, is because it is not gone. You are still you, even at your worst when it really doesn’t feel like it. It always comes back when the illnesses improve and the best part is, that when your personality comes back it’s even stronger because of the life lessons learned. I know who I am on a much deeper level - even when all of the superficial aspects are stripped.
‘TORN UP’ (oct ‘19)




When I painted this my cheeks had been swollen and sore for a few days from food reactions. My teeth were digging into my cheeks and whenever I closed my mouth I bit them. When I decided to paint a self portrait that day, it was only fitting that I incorporated the pain I was feeling.
‘THE ZEBRA’ (Nov ‘19)


In training, doctors are apparently taught the phrase “when you hear the sound of hooves, think horses not zebras”, meaning think of the common more likely illnesses and conditions rather than the rare. Therefore, people with rare illnesses are known as zebras 🦓
This painting is for all the zebras out there; all of us with rare diseases or rare illnesses. To those who went such a long time before finally gaining a diagnosis, and to those who still haven’t even found one. To those who medical teams don’t understand at all. We are the rare species, the zebras but guess what, zebras are unique, beautiful and interesting. We could have a worse symbol!
‘HEAT INTOLERANCE’ (October 2019)


Due to Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, steam and heat causes my blood pressure to drop and heart rate to increase.
This makes bathing and showering fun and games! Trying to shower and bath in a way that’s easier. Creating a less steamy bathroom has became quite a talent as has perfecting the water temperature. I feel bad after every shower/bath but sometimes I mess these things up and am left feeling horrendous. As my blood pressure drops I can feel my heart beating strongly all over my body, I feel dizzy, lightheaded, nauseous. As my heart rate rushes up I feel my heart beating out of my chest and my face feels roasting hot. My vision goes blurry as my eyes feel like they’re closing without my permission and I know I could faint at any minute so I stay close to the ground.
On this particular day I had showered and this had happened quite badly. I lay in bed for the rest of the day recovering and as I started to feel a bit better, I made the feeling come alive on my iPad.
It’s awesome being able to create art from my bed without using up much of my energy. This iPad allows me at times to create while feeling ill- this means I can create art so much more often as I’m too ill for manual art most days, and this also means I can be inspired by my symptoms as they are happening!
‘CHRONICALLY ILL’ (Nov ‘19)
Sometimes I wish I had chronically ill written in bold writing across my forehead. The fact these illnesses are invisible definitely brings more challenges into the mix. We can quite easily become targets of misjudgement. Walking into a disabled toilet appearing healthy and normal, standing up out of a wheelchair, using a walking stick and a disability parking space- I feel fearful that others will misjudge and say something about using these facilities and aids when it doesn’t always look like I need them.
I find myself thinking up a comeback or a speech before using them, worrying about it and even though nobody has ever actually said anything to me, I hate the stares. I hate the head shaking I have had after I’ve walked out the disabled toilet (unknowing to them, I would get really ill standing in queues for the normal loo). I find myself always wanting to find the quietest toilets. Feeling like I should walk funny or slow when I stand and walk out of my wheelchair.
With a broken leg, nobody would judge. Clearly, they have a broken leg, but with these illnesses I look fine. I actually appear healthier than a lot of others.
There’s a massive ignorance around invisible illnesses... and I get it. Before I got ill, I didn’t really have a second thought about illnesses that are invisible. I’m not sure what I would have thought if I had seen someone using a wheelchair, then stand up out of it and walk away just fine. I don’t think I would have thought they were faking anything, but I reckon I would have been confused!
‘EXHAUSTION’ (December 2019)

I have laid here, at the top of the stairs more times than I can count. After collapsing due to the exertion of crawling up the stairs, this is me unable to move another inch.
‘YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND ANYWAY’ (January 2020)

This painting portrays that very dangerous mindset that many people with chronic illness fall into the trap of, including myself. Our illnesses aren’t understood at all, and neither are the emotions that go along with them.
You only understand that feeling of being trapped in your own body if you have been through it. Others don’t understand what it’s like to want to be healthy, so desperately that it hurts. The feeling of being so jealous of loved one, for simply being able to live their lives. The heavy grief for the life you lost.

There comes a point when you start to pull away because how can others help if they cannot understand.
But this is dang.er.o.u.s! I believe it is vital to open ourselves up, to try to let others understand and to share when we are upset. Loved ones might not understand, they probably wouldn’t... but at least they can see that we are struggling, give us a cuddle and look out for us.

Speak up
‘SURROUNDED BY TOXINS’ (January 2020)

When even the air is toxic, how can we flourish?

We live on an alarmingly toxic planet where money is valued over health. Food is genetically modified, pesticide filled and depleted of nutrients. Our air is polluted. Our water tainted with heavy metals and chlorine. Our toiletries and cosmetics filled with chemicals that cause sickness. Homes are swamped with silent toxins from paint, upholstery and cleaning products. Our society is hooked on medication.
All this contributed to the failure of my autonomic nervous system. Now, as I desperately fight for my health, I feel overwhelmed. The ear protectors show my desire to stop noise pollution and blocking out negativity. The blindfold shows my attempt to ignore bad influences, to leave the life around me to focus on myself. The medical mask shows I’m blocking out air pollution and environmental toxins. I am placed in the middle of a dark, mouldy, dirty room that mimics the world around me, filled with things that cause sickness. My wheelchair, having a place in this painting, points towards illness/disability but it also hints to being stuck. As much as I want to lead a fully healthy life, I cannot. Not until society changes and starts putting human health first.
‘PLANTED TO BLOOM’ (February 2020)

When you’re surrounded by darkness, you’re being planted to bloom.

In this drawing I am buried under the soil, surrounded by the darkness of the earth but I am growing roots and I am slowly blooming.

The fetal position provides us with comfort in times of stress, anxiety and trauma. I play about with the link between plants and humans by combining the plants stem with the umbilical cord, both providing nutrients for the young. The umbilical cord suggests that even now in this dark time, I am being nourished and looked after.

We can use difficult times to grow and to recreate our lives. They can provide us with strength, insight and motivation- A chance to be recreated and “reborn”.
‘BOX FULL OF HOPE’ (February 2020)

Sometimes happiness and hope disappears and feels no where to be seen. I know this all too well from struggling with chronic illnesses and working hard every day to gain health. It often feels like I’m getting no where and often my hope disappears and I’m not sure why I’m even trying. I learned I need to cultivate my own hope. I need to force myself to find it whenever it feels lost.

That’s why in this painting I decided to create a box full of hope. It symbolises how I have built up an army of things that help me regain hope and stay hopeful. At home I surround myself in positive quotes and photographs. I write affirmations daily to rewire my brain to feel happy and positive, as well as writing what I am grateful for. I grow plants and flowers in my home and garden to remind myself that things change and growth happens. I have bright colours all around to uplift my spirit.

I have put aspects of all of these things into my “box full of hope”. As the box opened, the colours and positive energy burst out filling the air. The butterflies being released. One caterpillar remains on the box to show where these butterflies came from. They were once in cocoons hoping and praying to become butterflies.
‘BED-BOUND AS THE YEARS PASS BY’ (February 2020)


This painting portrays the years wasted, spent mostly laying in my bed due to illness. The years are scored off on the wooden bed frame to mark the passing of time. I lay there, collapsed on the bed in my clothes. This shows I’m not just going to sleep for the night, but I am unable to function as normal. To take off my clothes and get into bed properly would use up energy I don’t even have. I’m out of the covers because I have a temperature, this is more obvious by my red cheeks that are prominent on my pale face.


During my daily life I am positive. Of course I have down moments and living with illnesses is hard, but everything I say and do, even the negative; has a positive spin. I try so hard with this! But it’s difficult with my art, because I want to show the hard parts and I don’t want to twist them and make them lighter and less intense than they are when living them.


I haven’t been stuck in my bed completely for the past four years, I have more accurately been bed bound for one year then housebound for the past three. Even then though a lot of my time is spent there and during flares- I don’t leave bed much at all. Sometimes the better times disappear from my mind and it feels as though I have been there continuously since the day I became ill in January 2016.


Trapped, alone and stagnant.
‘PULSATING BRAIN’ (March 2020)
I’m on a mission to record EVERYTHING about my sickness to health journey... I made a vow to myself that I’d be open and vulnerable even when it’s scary. I truly believe my whole journey is transforming me daily into a better version of myself. It’s shown me a whole new world of sickness, but during this I learned so much about health and the human body. My whole belief system was shaken. The whole way I live my life right now and plan to in the future has changed. There’s so much of the world that I don’t agree with from different parts of our medical system, food system to our whole philosophy in life. What I have been through is valuable to me. I have suffered a lot but I would not change a thing...
To share what I have learned and what I now believe, I must first begin with the start of my health story; which I can’t hide, was and is devastating. There has been a lot of pain and suffering. A lot of the art I have been creating and will be creating is from this “stage” but I plan to go into the “realisation stage”, then the healing... and eventually the healed (when I get there).
This digital pencil drawing shows my worst symptom- and by worst I mean the one that is the most severe when it comes on. It always comes on quite suddenly. I will move and my head will start thumping, with every heartbeat of my tachycardia (shown on the wallpaper) my brain feels like it expands to the beat. With every thump, comes a horrible sensation of pressure, like my brain is being squeezed inside my skull. The severity escalates every time I move and it takes a while to calm down. Even moving an inch will accentuate the thumping/squeezing sensation so when I get it I end up kind of trapped. In this artwork I lay at the top of my stairs, the symptom came on severely as I got to the top step and I couldn’t go any further. I lay there for about 40 minutes, trying to move every so often but I never got further than lifting my head before it made me cry out in pain.
This drawing is me at my lowest, most vulnerable and weak... but as I sit here typing this out ready to bravely post in front of the world, I am stronger than I was before.
‘UNIQUE CONTRAST’ (April 2020)

Firstly; Yin and yang represents two opposing forces. This can be taken a lot of ways but for this piece I am using it to represent good and bad. Throughout all of life, good and bad moments coincide. Even in dark moments, good exists. Through my healing journey I sometimes feel confused because these good and bad emotions and moments coexist so strongly, so oppositely.
Though pain, symptoms and sadness exists throughout most of an illness journey; happiness, gratitude and positivity exists too. Moments with loved ones, pets and nature are still incredibly beautiful and appreciated more than ever. Perhaps this is another reason this journey is misunderstood. Most often I seem happy, but inside I’m sort of fighting this battle, being thrown between the bad and good.
The zebra print is a perfect addition to this painting, being black and white it keeps with the contrast theme- light and darkness coexisting. However, zebras are also the symbol for my main illness hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.
The portrait itself is unique, bright and bold. This represents how I have grown through my illnesses. If you look back on my page you can find my artwork named “chronic illness mask” (butterfly over face) where I discuss how illness strips us of our personalities. Now, at this stage of my journey I can feel my personality growing. I know who I am, what I like and dislike, I know my values, I know what I want in life. I feel I overall have a really strong sense of self and I am becoming unwilling to hide this. My confidence is growing and I will no longer apologise for who I am and for my opinions.
So if you are still in the stage where illnesses has stolen your personality, compare my “chronic illness mask” painting with this one, and know that you too will one day be brighter and bolder than you ever have been before
“CYCLE OF GROWTH” (April 2020)


Stags lose their antlers every autumn and they must feel bare and weak but they don’t need to worry. When spring comes around they will regrow, each time bigger and better than before.


I have used antlers as a sign of regeneration. Life is a continuous loop, we are continuously moving, never stuck in one place. Every single thing we go through, causes us to grow. For even when we are physically still, our spirit and mind cannot stay the same. Each struggle brings us new insight and new found strength.
‘NATURE HEALS’ (May 2020)





I surrender myself to you, nature, please look after me. Nourish my body with your wonderful foods. Provide me with healing herbs. Let me connect to your power supply and feel the energy flow through my body. Allow my heart to beat along with yours. Let me soak in your vitamin D, shower me with the warmth of your rays. Allow my body to regulate my circadian rhythm, help me to sleep at night.
Tree, please listen without judgement. Protect me with your branches. Cradle me in your roots while I intertwine myself back into your eco system.
“INCAPABLE” (June 2020)


Living with severe fatigue makes it really hard to care for your hygiene. Cleaning your teeth, brushing your hair, showering or bathing is exhausting and at times impossible. At my worst I could only shower once a week, and I did so sitting on the floor crying. Most of the time I didn’t even get the shampoo out of my hair before pulling myself out of the shower to crawl to bed. This is something most people don’t know about those with severe chronic illness as it’s all hidden within the walls of your home. It takes a lot of resting and scheduling to fit in washing and it takes a while to recover from the repercussion symptoms of bathing.